And I'm 28.

I decided I'd let myself drink today. Just one day. And what I've found is that I was counting down the minutes. As of this sentence I'm 28 by three minutes. Now I'm hesitating. I could run down to the ultra convenient store (there are two.) I go down the stairs, walk out my door and either way I turn, I'm at one. I could buy a bottle of beer. Or two. Or I could go across the street to the Ding Dong Bar. $6 for a shot and a beer. Except I don't have any cash on me. I'd have to spend at least $12 dollars. That would be 2 shots and 2 beers. Maybe 2 beers from the convenient store would be enough. It's been 3 and a half weeks. My tolerance has to be pretty low. But damn that shot would feel good. With the anticipation, I don't think I could fall asleep.

Once I take that drink, once I open the gate, will I be able to close it again? Can I do just one day? This is insane. Am I really this much of an addict? I feel guilty, like I'm betraying someone (Matt?) I really want the drink. But I'm scared. Logically I should say no. But the rest of me wants to be drunk so I can enjoy Futurama or any other TV comedy or playing Batman the way I loved enjoying it.

Okay logically. I'd go down and buy one beer. But I don't want one beer. I want at least two. So I buy 2 beers. That would be fine. I'd be drunk enough, but not super drunk. Enough to go to bed. But there is a part of me that wants one more shot of my roommate's vodka. 2 beers and a shot would be perfect. But it would be crossing a line.

Then what are the rules for tomorrow? Drinks with my sister at dinner. 2 max. Then one more when I get back to her place? Maybe. Then I have the date. The whole reason I gave myself this out. So it wouldn't be weird meeting up at 10:30 on a Friday night and drinking decaf coffee or club soda. Then I drink with her. If the date goes bad and I head home by myself? Do I get one more before the end of my birthday? 2 more? 2 more and a shot? No.

If I'm going to venture into this, dip my toe in there must be rules.
1) October 21st ONLY. Today didn't change the rules. No, "well it's a special occasion."
2) 2 drinks tonight. 2 drinks at dinner with Dara. Option for 1 drink at her apartment. Then whatever the night lends itself from the date. (I'm not worried about losing control on the date. It's at a wine bar. It's not cheap.)
3) After the date, I'm done! (if the date lasts past midnight, drinking is okay. )

Okay. Let's do this.

The Lonely Island - After the Party
http://www.wat.tv/audio/the-lonely-island-ft-santigold-3nlab_33r5l_.html