Wow. All I want is a beer right now. This sucks. I didn't write anything today. I went to Rosh Hashana services. Came home for about two hours then it was off to Aunt Fran and Uncle Stan's for dinner. I decided to download the Kindle app for my phone so I wouldn't have to carry my Kindle around and I'd read in the car. I get pretty motion sick when I do that so I bought Dramamine. Unfortunately, the Dramamine made me feel really sick in the car, then when we finally got to Aunt Fran and Uncle Stan's made me so drowsy that I had to fight to stay awake the whole time.

Now I'm home. Having every night free, no drinking, and not having any friends who aren't working is a bad mix. I can't bring myself to do anything fun like play video games or watch TV (what I used to do when I drank.) I can't go out because I don't want to spend money. And I can't focus on anything productive because I don't want to drink any coffee this late.

I tried to update my resume. I used an already made writer's resume in Microsoft Works and just changed it so all the information applied to me. But there are all these "cells" or something used in the formatting that I can't seem to make it do what I want it to. I find myself struggling to move or insert a "2009-Present" cell only to have it make half of my resume disappear. 

I've got all this tension. I know it will go away if I have a shot or drink a beer or something. But it's this tension I want to make me do what I need to do.  Despite the opinion I don't think I'm getting anything done, Matt says that each day I don't drink is an accomplishment in and of itself. Perhaps I'll try some meditation???

Happy Jewish New Year

I'm not going to services tonight. I'm going tomorrow morning and meeting up with some family in the evening. I feel bad I'm not going to services though. My new approach to life was to coincide with the New Year. It feels wrong I'm not fully committing to the holiday. However, I'm not a member of a synagogue and to join one isn't the cheapest thing. 

I started sketching some character ideas for the coming blog. Essentially these are caricatures of my friend Jake and my friend Chris. I have always strived to make my art either realistic or abstract. I've never been very good at cartoony.  Granted I used to draw X-Men a lot, but that's not exactly the look I'm going for. I'd like to distill the characters down to something pretty simple and quick. Perhaps two art styles? (ala 3 Panel Soul?) Maybe I'll try to draw some established comics to get the feel for the style.

The more effort I put into this blog and the future blog, the harder it is for me to concentrate on my 3rd play that I'm wrapping up.  Forget Me Not, the working title, has hit a snag. It's my first love story. I'm generally not happy with most fiction love stories. They oversimplify and the characters fall for attributes that I don't believe people in real life actually respond to.  However, I'm not sure I'm writing anything better.

I am procrastinating finding a new job because I really don't know how to go after it. No one else seems to have any idea either. I've been Craigslisting for "writing assistant" but all I really see are postings for copy writers or social media jobs. I guess I could do that. I also need to update and consolidate my resume. Is it worth having my Best Buy and waiting tables on a writing resume? Do I try to incorporate my 6 years of acting experience? Now that Same River Twice has been accepted into a play reading series should I make an "awards and achievements" section? Hopefully, the writing class I'm taking will give me some connections and advice.

A capella version of Hallelujah -- freakin' beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pmsOHc4keM&feature=player_embedded

The new day.

This is it. I'm living the dream. I can now officially call myself a starving artist.

Yesterday was my last day at work. I am not legally supposed to talk about the place as I had signed a confidentiality agreement. Or at least, I think I signed it.  And I don't know if that extends past my period of employment. Who reads contracts these days anyway? But if they really wanna sue me for crap I write about in this blog, go ahead. I don't plan on revealing any big secrets. *The Hay and Straw Linguine is people!!!*

My last day was pretty lame. I had to work a double shift (for the 2nd day in a row) and I got some of the worst tips I've ever made in my 6 years of waiting tables. New York may have higher priced menu items, but that doesn't mean shit if you're taking in <10% tips from the plethora of foreigners. Someone even took both copies of the receipt on a $70 check. I guess it was a sign that I'm moving in the right direction. In the last two days I served a couple of regulars who I broke the news of my departure.  Upon disclosing writing as my reason for leaving, some of them revealed they had connection to writing in some way and gave me their business cards. Not really sure if I should bother following up.

I'm a little worried about my social life. All the friends I made in New York in the last 6 month all work (or did) at Isabellas. So they'll be busy a lot. Since I don't plan on going to bars (as the sans drinking has begun) that limits my social areas. I've tried Meetup.com and I'd like to find a writer's circle. Other than that I'm out of ideas. Guess I'll be wandering the streets of New York alone.

I think I've got a decent blog idea. Rather than a run of the mill "Hi, I'm Ben, this is my blog, I'm going to write about X," I got the idea to combine a web comic with a blog. The blog will be written from two voices: friend A and friend B and their experiences in New York.  Friend A will likely be trying to pursue a writing career (one of the blog topics I wanted to write about) while Friend B's writings will be more romance/pick up based (the Neil Strauss idea.) I'll be able to review movies and video games, but have the two different characters have conflicting ideas about the subject matter. All that will be done likely in text/blog form. I'll use my own drawing/painting as comics to punctuate the blog (rather than have a 3 panel format/setup punch line.) I know it's very Penny-Arcade/every other webcomic ever. But by making it more blog-centric, using my own experiences, then skewing those experiences throw the lens of these character's fiction, I can make something entertaining, compelling, creative, and funny while challenging me to do more than document, but also create.  Thoughts? Comments?

I think want an iPad for my birthday. When I moved to New York, I sold my desktop and laptop to buy a better laptop. The idea was to go to coffee shops in New York and sit and write as I had done in Seattle. But New York doesn't work that way. Coffee shops are very crowded. If you are at a table and there is an unoccupied chair, chances are a stranger is going to sit there. Computer running low on batter? Good luck finding a wall outlet. There may be one in the establishment and you can bet your ass that guy who has been there for hours isn't moving for another 4 or 5. Also, once I leave my apartment I don't plan on coming back till the end of the day. That means I have have my workout clothes, my laptop, my kindle, and whatever other crap I have in my backpack that I'm lugging around as I walk for miles in the streets of New York. I don't like the idea of everything that's on my computer is on my back. What if my bag gets stolen? What if it rains and I forgot my umbrella?(as the case of the They Might Be Giants concert.) An iPad is light, small, has a good version of Celtx,( my script writing program) and much better battery life. I'd have to get the bluetooth keyboard, but no biggie.

My brother thinks I should wait for the iPad 3 or get a Macbook Air. I don't really want to spend $1000 on a new computer. Granted it would be lighter, but once again I don't like the idea of carrying around my whole computer all the time. I just want something portable to write with. As for waiting for the iPad 3, traditionally new iPads come out in March/April. However, Apple's traditional product cycle has kinda been  thrown out the window. Some websites think they'll release the 3 before Christmas, other sites say that the chips necessary for the iPads haven't been ordered yet meaning production hasn't even started, making a Christmas release impossible. Also it won't be my birthday in March/April. So what do you think? Macbook Air just so I can write? Get an iPad 2 when a 3 is around the corner?

Worked Up So Sexual -- The Faint.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsHb7_Rdbuk

I met with someone from the theatre company yesterday. We went over notes about the play, but communication seemed limited. He would make a point about the play to which I would cite moments in my play where what he was suggesting occurred, only for him reissue the same comment. The company wants a rewrite on my play by October 15th to 21st.  So in addition to that, I need to finish the play I'm currently working one, another 10 minute play I need to have done by October 2nd, and I start a writing class on October 14th. And update this blog. Plus I'll need to find a new job.  It's funny, I'll be busier now that I'll be unemployed.

Two days ago I didn't have anything to drink. Last night I had one beer. Both of those are anomalies. My routine has been to have a minimum of 3 drinks before bed. I usually get that drunk (often more so) and put on a Futurama or Arrested Development via Netflix. I plan to get drunk at least one more time, after my last shift. But that's really more for the people at work then it is for me. After that I will spend the next 10 days sober. The ten days coincide with the ten days between Rosh Hashana.

"The ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Awe (Yamim Noraim) or the Days of Repentance. This is a time for serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent before Yom Kippur."--http://www.jewfaq.org/

Seems like a good time to be sober. I haven't been continuously sober since I was 22. Around the time I was 23 I gave up pot. Or at least to the degree I was smoking it. From then I transitioned to alcohol. The alcohol was fine for a while. But within the last year it has gotten out of control. Thank God, it hasn't interfered with work or gotten me into trouble. Though most people from work practically laugh when I tell them I think I have a problem.

I caught the new show Person of Interest this morning. It stars James Caviezel (Jesus, The Passion of the Christ) and Michael Emerson (Ben Linus, LOST.) I'm watching it for Emerson. The premise is Caviezel's character John Reese former military bad ass now hobo because he lost the love of his life is approached by a Mr. Finch (Emerson.) It seems that Mr. Finch built a machine for the government after 9/11 that lets them monitor virtually all digital communication, public cameras, and internet activity. Using all this collected data, the machine deciphers probable major terrorist attacks. The machine also produces limited information on day to day premeditated crimes. (Murders/extortion/corruption etc.) However, these lesser, non terrorist crimes are simply discarded by the government. Mr. Finch felt guilty about these discarded predicted crimes and decides to hire John Reese so the two of them can prevent those crimes on their own. Unfortunately the machine doesn't give Finch much information. It simply gives him a social security number. He doesn't know if the person is a victim or a criminal. Just that someone bad is going to happen involving this person. Reese using his excellent military skills and Finch using his ability to hack into every piece of technology (people's cell phones, subway cameras, a laptop's webcam) the two of them to monitor their "person of interest." Think: that super computer that Batman and Morgan Freeman use at the end of The Dark Knight.  Essentially, it's a less sci-fi version of Quantum Leap mixed with Minority Report. The show seems run of the mill and cliche, but it's only a pilot and it's also CBS.

With that I had better get to my other writings.

Make You Smile (+44)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOXbogK-Ujk

The beginning of the end!

The title is a little over dramatic. I just think it's funny. Movies and TV use the tag line to say "It's the end" but giving them the freedom to continue. When the movie Star Trek: Nemesis came out Patrick Stewart was on the talk show circuit and in an interview (I think it was Conan) the interviewer was like, "so it's the end?" To which Stewart replied "It's the begging of the end." Implying there could be more movies. Of course, Nemesis was a terrible movie and it was the last one.

Funny story about titles. I was told that Star Trek: Nemesis was originally going to be called Star Trek: Resurrection  but Alien: Resurrection was a bad movie so they changed the name. Consequently Resident Evil: Apocalypse was supposed to be named Resident Evil: Nemesis (after the video game)  but changed it's name because the Star Trek movie was so poorly received. 

Well that was a good bit about nothing. At least I'm writing in this blog. I find it a personal achievement to be writing this as well as writing my play. In my pursuit of the goal to get a blog started I've run into the obstacle of picking a topic. Unlike this blog which is more of a journal/place to try out play ideas, a presentable and possibly lucrative blog apparently needs to have a topic. So yesterday I brainstormed topics:

Video games
Love/romance/dating
Art
Short stories
Technology
Restaurants/ waiting tables
Blu Ray/Dvds/Movies
Wine
Addiction/Recovery
Politics
Aspiring writer
Fetishes

I figured that the one in bold would probably be the best choice.  I can talk about video games and movies, but to be honest I don't keep on the cutting edge of either one. I suppose if I wanted a job at IGN or IMDB I could really focus and try to play video games and movies all the time and make a respectable blog. But I don't want to go in a journalism direction. Plus a video game blog on the internet is like a racial slur at a KKK rally. I'm not likely to get noticed.

I gave serious consideration to a "Guy's dating blog." Turn myself into Neil Strauss and document my adventures at the bars and clubs. But if I'm going to kick drinking, I should probably put dating aside. Generally you're not supposed to start relationships when you are quitting. Plus, I get pretty emotional when I'm dating and I could see myself falling back to drinking.

So I started looking at TV/Film writer's blog and started using the RSS feed. Crazy using the internet for reading rather than Gmail-->Facebook-->IGN-->Kotaku-->Slickdeals-->repeat. I've already gotten some good advice. Now I just need a title. The only clever one I could come up with was Write On Track which was, of course, taken.

In addition to writing some more of my new play, I am trying to get a 10 minute play written for a competition due October 2nd. 10 minute plays are kind of a bitch. You don't have enough time to develop anything substantial so you are essentially writing sketch comedy. The competition topic is the supernatural. The one thing I always write about and I have writer's block. Then I remembered a short piece I wrote when I first started writing. It's perfect for the competition. Just need to clean it up a bit. Maybe I'll throw it up here in on the blog. Or just ask me for it.

Lastly my play Same River Twice is likely going to be read in a play reading series in December. (Assuming I incorporate some notes the theatre company has given me) I feel most of their notes are accurate. But there is one that bothers me. I meet with one of the people today to discuss the notes over coffee. So that's kinda exciting.


Song of the day.  Back to Owl City. At first I didn't like the new album very much. But it's starting to grow on me. This is Yacht Club. It's not great, but  it has a really cool part at 2 min 50 seconds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47wu7Q-D29Y

A new beginning.

I am in the final week of my job. I have decided to quit. I moved to New York City 6 months ago to fully pursue writing. In that time I have become tremendously sidetracked. The end of my job will coincide with Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year. 

My goals are as follows. 

• Find a job in writing/television/film or anything that helps me develop my writing skills or networking.
• Quit drinking. It's really gotten out of control. I hope to be able to handle this on my own, without a support group or twelve step program. But I am prepared to enlist in one if necessary. Ideally if I could moderate myself to 2 drinks max a day, that would be perfect. But I honestly don't think I'm capable of that. 
• Work out 4-5 times a week.
• Healthy eating. Minimal carbs. More vegetables.  Avoid eating after 8pm. 
• Start and maintain a blog. This forum is great for me, but I've never felt it professional nor presentable. 

For the immediate future I plan to be unemployed and living off my savings. That's a pretty scary notion. If need be I'll have to go back to waiting tables but hopefully it won't have to come to that.