My back hurts so damn much. It's not a soreness like I pulled it or anything. It's like slept on it wrong. But it's been like this for a month. I went to a Chinese message place about a week ago and that helped for five minutes. The new restaurant seems easier and more lucrative but slower pace. Actually found myself missing the hectic Isabellas. But that may change now that I have my first live shift.
I'm making good head way on the 30 Rock script. It's long and the jokes are getting harder to write. But the goal is to finish a draft of it then fix it rather than try to do it right the first time. I'm at that point though where I'm really questioning how good the plot is. But I think that's natural in the muddle middle.
Emotionally I'm been kinda down lately. I feel like I've hit a rut in New York. Granted I have a few friends from Isabellas and I have my sister. But the Isabellas people are busy and I can't hang out with my sister every night. There doesn't seem like there's going to be anyone I connect with at the new restaurant. It's nice that I'm writing but I don't feel like I'm moving in any direction to break into the television industry. Every moment at this new restaurant is a reminder of that. I feel like my fight is gone. The ambition of young a graduate filled with naivety and the compunction to make the stupid mistakes that get you into trouble but also cause you stumble upon success. It's been hard for me to work out, eat right, update the other blog, and I've even relapsed into drinking a few times.
Sigh.
New Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_fEWsM4mNc
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
What the what?
So a funny thing has happened with this bog. I'm getting some page views. As many as 33 on Wednesday. And that disturbing because I don't advertise this blog. Meanwhile, my public blog I have to practically spam friends on Facebook to visit. My best day ever was 27. So what do I make of this?
My traffic sources point to http://pu.gg/ as my biggest traffic source. It seems to be a torrent site. No idea why anyone there would be looking here. One was adf.ly. Someone's seeing if they want to advertise on my site??? And the last one is metablogstats. So I don't know if people are actually coming to this blog and reading it or if computer programs are running through the internet randomly checking out blogs (it's obvious I don't know how the internet works.)
Conclusion? If you're are a human, leave comments, tell your friends, visit Mackjackandjill.wordpress.com. If you're a computer, well there's not much I can do, now can I?
Feiya pointed me to this awesome site.
We Run the Night
http://soundcloud.com/dubstep/we-run-the-night-proper-villians-remix
My traffic sources point to http://pu.gg/ as my biggest traffic source. It seems to be a torrent site. No idea why anyone there would be looking here. One was adf.ly. Someone's seeing if they want to advertise on my site??? And the last one is metablogstats. So I don't know if people are actually coming to this blog and reading it or if computer programs are running through the internet randomly checking out blogs (it's obvious I don't know how the internet works.)
Conclusion? If you're are a human, leave comments, tell your friends, visit Mackjackandjill.wordpress.com. If you're a computer, well there's not much I can do, now can I?
Feiya pointed me to this awesome site.
We Run the Night
http://soundcloud.com/dubstep/we-run-the-night-proper-villians-remix
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I'm just not into you.
This week I got a job, went on dates with two women, and met one of my personal heroes. Yet despite my fortune I felt melancholy on the walk home. (I'm not going to go as far as to say depressed, that word is thrown around too easily.) I believe my sadness may come from my difficulty in going after what I want. All three of the "fortunes" in the first sentence were essentially handed to me.
The job, despite my resolution to abandon the restaurant industry, is a return to waiting tables. A friend called me telling me her restaurant needed someone and that it was much better than Isabellas. She also said that part time work was available. Compromise between my dream and having money? I am getting sick of not working each day. I went in to the interview and the manager pretty was ready to give me the job right then and there. He didn't really interview me so much as tell me about the restaurant. It wasn't part time work, but it is about 15-20 hours less than Isabellas which was what I was looking for. So while that's nice, my goal of finding work in the writing world just didn't happen. I checked Craigslist, emailed some resumes to production offices, and frequented Mandy.com. But I didn't go after it the way I used to fiend after rare X-Men toys at Toys'R'Us.
Then there are the women. One of them? Exciting, fun, my age, and possibly trouble. There was a good connection on the date, some kino (pick up term for physical escalation,) time bridging (pua term for setting next date) and some light and fun texting the next morning. I thought it was on. Then, that night I sent one last text. No reply. I should have given her 48 hours to respond before I contacted her again. But my emotions got the best of me and I called her last night. I did have a plan. Get her on the phone? I had a joke in mind, then I'd tell her about the awesome lecture, and finally break the news that I might have to break the date (I might be an extra in the new Batman movie Friday.) If it goes to voice mail, I leave the message about breaking the date. But when I called her it rang once then went to voice mail ( meaning she declined the call ) then the message informed me that her in box was full and could not take any messages. Drag. Hope is not lost, but it doesn't look so good.
The other girl is every girl I've ever dated. I'm not really attracted to her. We don't have that much in common and I don't think she's open to the kink lifestyle (just a hunch.) I went on a second date with her yesterday and despite my boredom, I've found myself escalating the relationship. We're now Facebook friends, I'm going to her Halloween party (awkward,) and I kissed her. She's not a bad person and I hate the idea of breaking up (even though we've only been on 2 dates?) I could give her another shot, but by now, if I'm not into her, I'm not going to be.
Giving up drinking has been isolating. And I just don't know how to pull myself out of this funk. Maybe, the new job will expose me to some exciting people, but I doubt it will solve the apprehension I feel about my stalled life.
Tyler sent me this album for my birthday.
Phantograms - When I'm Small (Lucy's Mix)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2azIP3q4A
The job, despite my resolution to abandon the restaurant industry, is a return to waiting tables. A friend called me telling me her restaurant needed someone and that it was much better than Isabellas. She also said that part time work was available. Compromise between my dream and having money? I am getting sick of not working each day. I went in to the interview and the manager pretty was ready to give me the job right then and there. He didn't really interview me so much as tell me about the restaurant. It wasn't part time work, but it is about 15-20 hours less than Isabellas which was what I was looking for. So while that's nice, my goal of finding work in the writing world just didn't happen. I checked Craigslist, emailed some resumes to production offices, and frequented Mandy.com. But I didn't go after it the way I used to fiend after rare X-Men toys at Toys'R'Us.
Then there are the women. One of them? Exciting, fun, my age, and possibly trouble. There was a good connection on the date, some kino (pick up term for physical escalation,) time bridging (pua term for setting next date) and some light and fun texting the next morning. I thought it was on. Then, that night I sent one last text. No reply. I should have given her 48 hours to respond before I contacted her again. But my emotions got the best of me and I called her last night. I did have a plan. Get her on the phone? I had a joke in mind, then I'd tell her about the awesome lecture, and finally break the news that I might have to break the date (I might be an extra in the new Batman movie Friday.) If it goes to voice mail, I leave the message about breaking the date. But when I called her it rang once then went to voice mail ( meaning she declined the call ) then the message informed me that her in box was full and could not take any messages. Drag. Hope is not lost, but it doesn't look so good.
The other girl is every girl I've ever dated. I'm not really attracted to her. We don't have that much in common and I don't think she's open to the kink lifestyle (just a hunch.) I went on a second date with her yesterday and despite my boredom, I've found myself escalating the relationship. We're now Facebook friends, I'm going to her Halloween party (awkward,) and I kissed her. She's not a bad person and I hate the idea of breaking up (even though we've only been on 2 dates?) I could give her another shot, but by now, if I'm not into her, I'm not going to be.
Giving up drinking has been isolating. And I just don't know how to pull myself out of this funk. Maybe, the new job will expose me to some exciting people, but I doubt it will solve the apprehension I feel about my stalled life.
Tyler sent me this album for my birthday.
Phantograms - When I'm Small (Lucy's Mix)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2azIP3q4A
Thursday, October 20, 2011
And I'm 28.
I decided I'd let myself drink today. Just one day. And what I've found is that I was counting down the minutes. As of this sentence I'm 28 by three minutes. Now I'm hesitating. I could run down to the ultra convenient store (there are two.) I go down the stairs, walk out my door and either way I turn, I'm at one. I could buy a bottle of beer. Or two. Or I could go across the street to the Ding Dong Bar. $6 for a shot and a beer. Except I don't have any cash on me. I'd have to spend at least $12 dollars. That would be 2 shots and 2 beers. Maybe 2 beers from the convenient store would be enough. It's been 3 and a half weeks. My tolerance has to be pretty low. But damn that shot would feel good. With the anticipation, I don't think I could fall asleep.
Once I take that drink, once I open the gate, will I be able to close it again? Can I do just one day? This is insane. Am I really this much of an addict? I feel guilty, like I'm betraying someone (Matt?) I really want the drink. But I'm scared. Logically I should say no. But the rest of me wants to be drunk so I can enjoy Futurama or any other TV comedy or playing Batman the way I loved enjoying it.
Okay logically. I'd go down and buy one beer. But I don't want one beer. I want at least two. So I buy 2 beers. That would be fine. I'd be drunk enough, but not super drunk. Enough to go to bed. But there is a part of me that wants one more shot of my roommate's vodka. 2 beers and a shot would be perfect. But it would be crossing a line.
Then what are the rules for tomorrow? Drinks with my sister at dinner. 2 max. Then one more when I get back to her place? Maybe. Then I have the date. The whole reason I gave myself this out. So it wouldn't be weird meeting up at 10:30 on a Friday night and drinking decaf coffee or club soda. Then I drink with her. If the date goes bad and I head home by myself? Do I get one more before the end of my birthday? 2 more? 2 more and a shot? No.
If I'm going to venture into this, dip my toe in there must be rules.
1) October 21st ONLY. Today didn't change the rules. No, "well it's a special occasion."
2) 2 drinks tonight. 2 drinks at dinner with Dara. Option for 1 drink at her apartment. Then whatever the night lends itself from the date. (I'm not worried about losing control on the date. It's at a wine bar. It's not cheap.)
3) After the date, I'm done! (if the date lasts past midnight, drinking is okay. )
Okay. Let's do this.
The Lonely Island - After the Party
http://www.wat.tv/audio/the-lonely-island-ft-santigold-3nlab_33r5l_.html
Once I take that drink, once I open the gate, will I be able to close it again? Can I do just one day? This is insane. Am I really this much of an addict? I feel guilty, like I'm betraying someone (Matt?) I really want the drink. But I'm scared. Logically I should say no. But the rest of me wants to be drunk so I can enjoy Futurama or any other TV comedy or playing Batman the way I loved enjoying it.
Okay logically. I'd go down and buy one beer. But I don't want one beer. I want at least two. So I buy 2 beers. That would be fine. I'd be drunk enough, but not super drunk. Enough to go to bed. But there is a part of me that wants one more shot of my roommate's vodka. 2 beers and a shot would be perfect. But it would be crossing a line.
Then what are the rules for tomorrow? Drinks with my sister at dinner. 2 max. Then one more when I get back to her place? Maybe. Then I have the date. The whole reason I gave myself this out. So it wouldn't be weird meeting up at 10:30 on a Friday night and drinking decaf coffee or club soda. Then I drink with her. If the date goes bad and I head home by myself? Do I get one more before the end of my birthday? 2 more? 2 more and a shot? No.
If I'm going to venture into this, dip my toe in there must be rules.
1) October 21st ONLY. Today didn't change the rules. No, "well it's a special occasion."
2) 2 drinks tonight. 2 drinks at dinner with Dara. Option for 1 drink at her apartment. Then whatever the night lends itself from the date. (I'm not worried about losing control on the date. It's at a wine bar. It's not cheap.)
3) After the date, I'm done! (if the date lasts past midnight, drinking is okay. )
Okay. Let's do this.
The Lonely Island - After the Party
http://www.wat.tv/audio/the-lonely-island-ft-santigold-3nlab_33r5l_.html
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
30 Rocks and Batmen
My writing has slowed as I've been taking this writing class. I stopped the rewrite on Same River Twice to focus on the homework. The homework was make character sheets for the show I'm doing, write a log line for my spec script, and a one page narrative outline for the spec script. I've decided to do 30 Rock.
If you're not familiar with a spec script, the idea is that you write an episode for a TV show. The goal for the class is to have a full spec script by the end of the class. But since other people in the class have shows to write for and I need to comment on them I need to be up to date with those shows. I've been watching a lot of TV this week.
I was worried about having my whole plot outlined. Usually I just let myself go when I write and see where it takes me. (With an image of what I want the final moment to be.) It came down to the last day and I managed to get out a pretty good plot. I actually amazed at my ability to adapt to the character's voices and sense of humor. I was spouting original Tracy Jordanisms at random yesterday.
One thing the teacher has stressed to us is that TV is a medium where you are coloring inside the lines. You are producing a product. And you are paid well for that product. But any semblance that you will be thinking outside the box is an illusion. In TV, you take the notes the network gives you and you write them or you are out of a job. And after working in theatre for the last 6 years getting paid nothing for my art, I'm pretty okay with that. I'm good at taking notes and rewriting everything. If I can get paid for this? Fuck yea. Also TV writers get 13 weeks off. I'll write my Pulitzer prize winning play then.
Last night we learned about the 4 part story structure.
EVERY SHOW ON TV FOLLOWS THIS PATTERN
1. Introduce conflict
2. Escalate the conflict
3. Move to resolution
4. Resolution
Simple right? And all those 4 parts are equal in length. The tricky part is number 3. Making it slick, fulfilling, and unexpected.
Other than that I just got the new Batman: Arkham City. Played it for an hour last night. Supposedly there are a bunch of alternate Batman costumes, but I don't know how to unlock them. I've never been too nuts about the Batman design in the game. It's always struck me as Gears of War. I prefer Jae Lee's art style. Unfortunately I can't seem to find any pics, but if you ever pick up Batman: Jekyll and Hyde, the first half of it rocks and Jae Lee did the art. So I'd love to be running around as the classic 1980s Batman or the animated series Batman.
From left to right: Batman Beyond, Dark Knight Returns, Batman: Earth One, 1980s Batman, Animated series Batman, and default Arkham Asylum/City Batman (Gears of War Batman.)
I've got a job interview later today and I gotta do some laundry. Later tonight is a Street Fighter meet up group! I'm excited.
Mat Kearney -- Undeniable
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvp8yIsgcpo&ob=av2e
If you're not familiar with a spec script, the idea is that you write an episode for a TV show. The goal for the class is to have a full spec script by the end of the class. But since other people in the class have shows to write for and I need to comment on them I need to be up to date with those shows. I've been watching a lot of TV this week.
I was worried about having my whole plot outlined. Usually I just let myself go when I write and see where it takes me. (With an image of what I want the final moment to be.) It came down to the last day and I managed to get out a pretty good plot. I actually amazed at my ability to adapt to the character's voices and sense of humor. I was spouting original Tracy Jordanisms at random yesterday.
One thing the teacher has stressed to us is that TV is a medium where you are coloring inside the lines. You are producing a product. And you are paid well for that product. But any semblance that you will be thinking outside the box is an illusion. In TV, you take the notes the network gives you and you write them or you are out of a job. And after working in theatre for the last 6 years getting paid nothing for my art, I'm pretty okay with that. I'm good at taking notes and rewriting everything. If I can get paid for this? Fuck yea. Also TV writers get 13 weeks off. I'll write my Pulitzer prize winning play then.
Last night we learned about the 4 part story structure.
EVERY SHOW ON TV FOLLOWS THIS PATTERN
1. Introduce conflict
2. Escalate the conflict
3. Move to resolution
4. Resolution
Simple right? And all those 4 parts are equal in length. The tricky part is number 3. Making it slick, fulfilling, and unexpected.
Other than that I just got the new Batman: Arkham City. Played it for an hour last night. Supposedly there are a bunch of alternate Batman costumes, but I don't know how to unlock them. I've never been too nuts about the Batman design in the game. It's always struck me as Gears of War. I prefer Jae Lee's art style. Unfortunately I can't seem to find any pics, but if you ever pick up Batman: Jekyll and Hyde, the first half of it rocks and Jae Lee did the art. So I'd love to be running around as the classic 1980s Batman or the animated series Batman.
I've got a job interview later today and I gotta do some laundry. Later tonight is a Street Fighter meet up group! I'm excited.
Mat Kearney -- Undeniable
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvp8yIsgcpo&ob=av2e
Friday, October 14, 2011
FOCUS!!!
Now I'm about 2 and a half weeks into my unemployment and the struggle has been my wavering degrees of focus. It all depends on what I do first in the morning. If I get up and start writing I'm good. If I do anything else, I'm fucked.
With the TV writing class I have to do much character research. (I'm doing 30 Rock) 2 pages for each main character, 1 page for supporting characters, half a page for misc characters, etc. Also I need to be familiar with all my class mates' TV shows. I can't believe how draining watching TV is. It's one thing to come home from work and watch an episode of something as I have a shot and a beer as I go to bed. It's another thing to be sober and start your day with it. It's just hard to ramp back up. I am also facing the fact that I NEVER developed researching skills. Thank you Texas public schooling. I mean I have the Wikipedia pages in front of me. All I have to do is copy the damn stuff. But I find myself resisting that because I want to take something from it. But there is so much characterization over the 5 years 30 Rock has been on. Also, most of the characterization is fake and not meant to drive the character but merely a punchline to some obscure joke. Unlike if I were doing a play, I would know that every piece of information were important, for this it's not. But the fan sites and Wikipedia pages include as many of the random fact/jokes as possible. So in order to decided if it's relevant, I end up going to Netflix and watch an episode. Which obviously delays the characterization document and also muddies my brain. Oy.
I also have no idea how to look for a job. I check Mandy.com each day and end up sending my resume to one or two jobs, but that's not leading anywhere. As for Magnus Rex, they called me yesterday telling me I wasn't needed after all. Bummer. Guess I'll just be playing Batman in Arkham City.
Went on a date with a cute Jewish girl last night. There was more chemistry there than I expected. But I fear we may not be sexually compatible. Feiya, Zach, Tyler, (maybe Matt?) you guys know what I'm talking about. The other one or two of you, if you really want to know, ask. But you probably don't. I just get the vibe (and from her response to certain OkCupid questions,) she's vanilla.
Shows I'm catching up on:
Parenthood
Bored to Death
Parks and Recreation
Mad Men
Plus I'm rewatching a lot of 30 Rock.
Different kind of song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWTVEIEAMb0&feature=related
With the TV writing class I have to do much character research. (I'm doing 30 Rock) 2 pages for each main character, 1 page for supporting characters, half a page for misc characters, etc. Also I need to be familiar with all my class mates' TV shows. I can't believe how draining watching TV is. It's one thing to come home from work and watch an episode of something as I have a shot and a beer as I go to bed. It's another thing to be sober and start your day with it. It's just hard to ramp back up. I am also facing the fact that I NEVER developed researching skills. Thank you Texas public schooling. I mean I have the Wikipedia pages in front of me. All I have to do is copy the damn stuff. But I find myself resisting that because I want to take something from it. But there is so much characterization over the 5 years 30 Rock has been on. Also, most of the characterization is fake and not meant to drive the character but merely a punchline to some obscure joke. Unlike if I were doing a play, I would know that every piece of information were important, for this it's not. But the fan sites and Wikipedia pages include as many of the random fact/jokes as possible. So in order to decided if it's relevant, I end up going to Netflix and watch an episode. Which obviously delays the characterization document and also muddies my brain. Oy.
I also have no idea how to look for a job. I check Mandy.com each day and end up sending my resume to one or two jobs, but that's not leading anywhere. As for Magnus Rex, they called me yesterday telling me I wasn't needed after all. Bummer. Guess I'll just be playing Batman in Arkham City.
Went on a date with a cute Jewish girl last night. There was more chemistry there than I expected. But I fear we may not be sexually compatible. Feiya, Zach, Tyler, (maybe Matt?) you guys know what I'm talking about. The other one or two of you, if you really want to know, ask. But you probably don't. I just get the vibe (and from her response to certain OkCupid questions,) she's vanilla.
Shows I'm catching up on:
Parenthood
Bored to Death
Parks and Recreation
Mad Men
Plus I'm rewatching a lot of 30 Rock.
Different kind of song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWTVEIEAMb0&feature=related
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Head Versus the Heart
If you remember a few posts ago, I had a picture of Batman. I was so proud of myself for drawing it in pen. I blogged about how as an actor I used to act with my head, but I was starting to learn how to act from the heart (or body mind.) Well I'm in the midst of my Same River Twice rewrite. Due notes from numerous sources, I've decided to change the dominant conflict of the second act. In doing this, I am excising whole scenes and speeches while sewing together what I prized enough to keep with new dialogue. It sort of a Frankenstein if you will. The biggest problem however is that all the new writing is short and to the point, it seems utilitarian, while I'm cutting monologues that meant something but no longer have a place. And that's when I realized, everything I'm doing is coming from the head. I've given my character a new scenario to deal with and I'm writing it pushing toward a plot point rather than taking the time to understand myself emotionally what these characters would be going through. No wonder this new draft seems to have no soul.
With 9 days left, all I can focus on is this new draft. I've not been this stressed out since I moved to New York. And I'm aiming for an A+.( 98%) Before I just wanted to finish the damn thing. Now it's time to push myself to my limit. I also start my TV writing class at Gotham tonight. So yea that should be fun. OKAY enough procrastinating. Back to the grind...of my soul! But be sure to check out the Avenger's Trailer.
The Head and the Heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3CqR_m6NO0
With 9 days left, all I can focus on is this new draft. I've not been this stressed out since I moved to New York. And I'm aiming for an A+.( 98%) Before I just wanted to finish the damn thing. Now it's time to push myself to my limit. I also start my TV writing class at Gotham tonight. So yea that should be fun. OKAY enough procrastinating. Back to the grind...of my soul! But be sure to check out the Avenger's Trailer.
The Head and the Heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3CqR_m6NO0
Monday, October 10, 2011
My freakin' neck.
So I've been writing. A lot. You have to understand. I'm used to spending hours on my feet in the fast paced, high stress, restaurant world. Now I'm unemployed. But I don't just sit on my ass watching TV (okay today I watched the new Dexter and the Breaking Bad finale,) I'm at my computer writing this blog, mackjackandjill, and my main focus; the rewrite of Same River Twice. That's a lot of time sitting on your ass staring at an LCD screen. Especially since when I decided to take a break, I just spent time on OkCupid, (aren't I cute?) I have given my eyes and neck very little relief. Funny thing about writing for hours. Afterwards, it makes messaging a shit ton easier.
Almost 2 weeks and no drinking. It doesn't get any easier. Sometimes I think, just one beer. Why not? But I never want just one beer. Maybe the first night. But from then I will snowball. It always does.
Other than that I start my TV writing class at Gotham tomorrow. So now I'll have another writing project.
Short post. Love my new iPad. Breaking Bad season 4 didn't disappoint. Best show on TV.
Song that was on that a capella competition show The Sing off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7uXX9K7Sk
Almost 2 weeks and no drinking. It doesn't get any easier. Sometimes I think, just one beer. Why not? But I never want just one beer. Maybe the first night. But from then I will snowball. It always does.
Other than that I start my TV writing class at Gotham tomorrow. So now I'll have another writing project.
Short post. Love my new iPad. Breaking Bad season 4 didn't disappoint. Best show on TV.
Song that was on that a capella competition show The Sing off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7uXX9K7Sk
Thursday, October 6, 2011
We get it. You're busy.
But I just don't understand why I'm so busy. It's like moment to moment is scheduled to the hour for the next few days. I'm actually very happy about that. It is a good feeling. What's not a good feeling is the overwhelming desire to drink.
Tonight I worked (yes I actually made money for the first time in a week) at a catering job. I hate catering jobs. Setting up crap (I hate) standing around (despise) have no personal interaction with guests while picking up their crap (agony) and finally cleaning up and breaking down (somebody shoot me.) Catering takes everything I love about waiting tables and replaces it with tedium. And to top it all off there was alcohol. Tons of it. Cases of beer. Gallons of liquor. Jugs of 12 year Dewards. As my fellow caters got done, they were allowed to have some. I was sure I was going to cave tonight. Boredom mixed with available alcohol? What's a recovering alcoholic going to do? But some how, some way, I made it. I had a diet coke instead. That's why I'm up at 2:30 am.
Wanted to do a short post. May write another one tomorrow (which would actually be today.) And I need to write another post to mackjackandjill. I've got a couple of ideas. It should be good.
Finally, I would say that very few people have access to this blog and even less read it. I think the only people who might skim these pages are Feiya, Zach, Janelle, Matt, Tyler, and possibly Alice. If anyone is reading this blog please leave comments because a future post is going to be very personal.
Peace
New Pornographers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiVVg8Pjcbk
Tonight I worked (yes I actually made money for the first time in a week) at a catering job. I hate catering jobs. Setting up crap (I hate) standing around (despise) have no personal interaction with guests while picking up their crap (agony) and finally cleaning up and breaking down (somebody shoot me.) Catering takes everything I love about waiting tables and replaces it with tedium. And to top it all off there was alcohol. Tons of it. Cases of beer. Gallons of liquor. Jugs of 12 year Dewards. As my fellow caters got done, they were allowed to have some. I was sure I was going to cave tonight. Boredom mixed with available alcohol? What's a recovering alcoholic going to do? But some how, some way, I made it. I had a diet coke instead. That's why I'm up at 2:30 am.
Wanted to do a short post. May write another one tomorrow (which would actually be today.) And I need to write another post to mackjackandjill. I've got a couple of ideas. It should be good.
Finally, I would say that very few people have access to this blog and even less read it. I think the only people who might skim these pages are Feiya, Zach, Janelle, Matt, Tyler, and possibly Alice. If anyone is reading this blog please leave comments because a future post is going to be very personal.
Peace
New Pornographers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiVVg8Pjcbk
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
How the hell'd I get busy?
The posts on this site will likely suffer in frequency. Sorry Feiya and Janelle. But that's because I'm starting a new blog. I've purposefully kept this one private so I could write about more private things. Now it's time for me to start a new blog that's more public. So please visit...dun dun dun duh!...https://mackjackandjill.wordpress.com/ It's brand spankin' new(so it's very unpolished.) It basically filters my New York experience through three different character. So rather than blogging in a journal fashion, I have some fiction and character development. It still needs a lot of work, but I figured it was better that I get something up rather than keeping it as an idea in my head. The events that happen on MackJackandJill will likely be my own experiences with "poetic/dramatic licence." So keep coming back here, cause I might have the truer event posted.
Otherwise, I finished the first draft of my new play yesterday. I did figure out the last sentences and I'm pretty happy with it. Sent it to my wonderful friend Julia and she seemed to really enjoy it. Now I start rewriting Same River Twice for Hudson Warehouse's play reading series. I really don't want to rewrite that play. For me, it's done and I'm happy with it. But that's not the way the world works. Oy. It's like digging up a grave and prying open the coffin. I think I'm going to start by cutting everything I possibly can. Then, I have to completely restructure the 2nd half. It's going to suck and I've got 2 weeks.
Thursday night I'm helping someone do a catering job. It is such a relief to work and have money coming in. I've been in super thrifty mode (any Jew jokes and I'll kill you. Looking @ you Zach.) since I left Isabellas. And it's paid by the hour so I want to work as much as possibly.
Also today I need to read the script of Ides of March. There's a writer's group I joined when I first got here that sends out the scripts to movies, we read them, meet up see the movie, then discuss it at a bar afterwards. I did it for the movie Source Code. It was really cool to see how much the movie had changed. The girl in the movie was much more interesting in the script. But since it meets on Sundays there was no way I could attend while working at Isabellas. But now I'm free.
Okay, I've put off mutilating my own script long enough. Time to get to work. Check out the new blog. Peace.
The only Weezer song I like on the Green Album
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDR50xgbqdQ
Otherwise, I finished the first draft of my new play yesterday. I did figure out the last sentences and I'm pretty happy with it. Sent it to my wonderful friend Julia and she seemed to really enjoy it. Now I start rewriting Same River Twice for Hudson Warehouse's play reading series. I really don't want to rewrite that play. For me, it's done and I'm happy with it. But that's not the way the world works. Oy. It's like digging up a grave and prying open the coffin. I think I'm going to start by cutting everything I possibly can. Then, I have to completely restructure the 2nd half. It's going to suck and I've got 2 weeks.
Thursday night I'm helping someone do a catering job. It is such a relief to work and have money coming in. I've been in super thrifty mode (any Jew jokes and I'll kill you. Looking @ you Zach.) since I left Isabellas. And it's paid by the hour so I want to work as much as possibly.
Also today I need to read the script of Ides of March. There's a writer's group I joined when I first got here that sends out the scripts to movies, we read them, meet up see the movie, then discuss it at a bar afterwards. I did it for the movie Source Code. It was really cool to see how much the movie had changed. The girl in the movie was much more interesting in the script. But since it meets on Sundays there was no way I could attend while working at Isabellas. But now I'm free.
Okay, I've put off mutilating my own script long enough. Time to get to work. Check out the new blog. Peace.
The only Weezer song I like on the Green Album
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDR50xgbqdQ
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
I'm kinda busy.
For being unemployed I have actually have a pretty busy week lined up. Today I'm pinned up in the apartment waiting for the landlord to repaint the bathroom. Which will be good because I have LOADS to get done. I'm mere sentences from finishing my new play. It's about man who can't be remembered by anyone he meets making him permanently anonymous. The working title was Forget Me Not. It wasn't until yesterday that I knew my title: Whatever It's Worth. I really didn't know what my play was about until I wrote the paragraph that ended with the sentence inspiring the title.
I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow. Seeing 50/50 with my sister and possibly working a catering gig Thursday, have Yom Kippur Friday/Saturday, and meeting up with a writer's group to see Ides of March on Sunday. I swear there is something Wednesday night I'm forgetting. I also need to get started on rewriting my second play, apply for jobs, and get that new blog up and running. Oy.
Went on a date yesterday. I usually end up on dates with people I'm not that into and spend most of the date trying to find that one angle I find them attractive. But not this girl. I met her on Okcupid. Half of her pictures I thought she was attractive, half of them I didn't. The ones I didn't she was wearing sunglasses covering her eyes. Sure enough, in person her eyes did it. She also had a great smile. As much as I liked her, I could tell she wasn't into me. Despite the fact we had similar interests, I couldn't keep the conversation going. It kept dying and then restarting. But at least I went on a date with someone cute.
Last night was also Elena's birthday. It was my first time out at a bar scene sober. The cocktail waitress caught my eye. I decided I would introduce myself and give her number. I never give out my number, I always get theirs. The chance of contact is extremely slim when when you give them your number. But I'm not going to ask someone who's working for their number. I tore off a piece of receipt and wrote down my name, number, and "the water guy" cause she forgot to get me water for like an hour. Then I patiently waited for the right moment. Abruptly she told our party she wanted people to cash out as she was done for the night. From then on she was like a hawk, dropping checks and scooping them up as soon as they were signed. It was not the time for my charms. I waited possibly for a moment on her exit, but figured I missed her. I decided to say my goodbyes to everyone around 1. As I was on my last few people I noticed Linda (I had gotten her name earlier) darting out in her street clothes. She jumped into a cab with a coworker and so another missed opportunity.
I walked to the 1 train, stopping to grab a M&M cookie only to see Linda sitting out side the stop on her phone. I waved and said "Hi Linda." I think she was a little surprised and possibly weirded out. I could imagine what she thought. "This guy from the bar followed me at 1 am???" So I went into the stop and occupied myself on my phone. When she inevitable came down, I didn't give her any attention. She walked passed me but stopped. I kept my distance and said hi again. Then I made a joke how when I was a banquet server I couldn't stand seeing customers post shift. I just wanted to walk passed them unnoticed. This seemed to break the ice pretty well as we sat next to each other on the train and talked the whole time. As we approached my stop I prompted her: "Wanna know a secret? I've been wanted to give you my number since I was in the bar." I pulled out the paper from my pocket and handed it to her. Once again chances are slim. But at least the opportunity wasn't missed.
In both cases tonight, the date and with Linda I didn't advance physically. According to LS, romantic relationships need to advance in three ways. Emotionally, physically, and logistically. Emotion goes from attraction to comfort to sexual. Logistical means you can't stay in the same place too long. Differing locations helps build connection and progress the relationship. Then there is the physical progression. I've been told that emotional progression without physical progression = friend zone. The girl has to get comfortable with you touching her if she's ever going to be comfortable with you kissing her. It's definitely a barometer for how into you someone is. I now watch to see how other guys do this. Gay men are incredible at it. If you ever watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World, notice Wallace. But it's something I've never gotten comfortable doing. With Dangi (the girl on the date) I touched her hand once. She had an interesting birthmark. And I also tried to high five her. She just faintly held her hand up. But I guess I should be taking more chances and not be afraid to screw it up.
I've updated my resume and I should probably start applying for jobs now. Behold, my updated resume...ok for some reason my resume won't upload. Ahh...had to convert it from .pdf to .jpg. G-d bless Photoshop. I don't think you can read it. In the past, I've had two resumes. One for my desired field (production work, writing assistant, etc.) and one for waiting tables. The former highlighted my acting/theatre as I had few writing credits. The latter featured my professional experience with restaurants, Best Buy, etc. The new challenge was to design a resume that featured as much as possible while still looking clean, organized, and brief. I decided to remove specifics about each occupation. Gone are phone numbers, addresses, specific dates of employment. Instead I have more detailed job descriptions, a writing experience section, and specific production assistant credits. I think this will work best. Now I can finally start applying for jobs.
Today's song
Big Rock Candy Mountain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYGCpGzFWh0
I wish I had my dvd of O Brother, Where art thou?
I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow. Seeing 50/50 with my sister and possibly working a catering gig Thursday, have Yom Kippur Friday/Saturday, and meeting up with a writer's group to see Ides of March on Sunday. I swear there is something Wednesday night I'm forgetting. I also need to get started on rewriting my second play, apply for jobs, and get that new blog up and running. Oy.
Went on a date yesterday. I usually end up on dates with people I'm not that into and spend most of the date trying to find that one angle I find them attractive. But not this girl. I met her on Okcupid. Half of her pictures I thought she was attractive, half of them I didn't. The ones I didn't she was wearing sunglasses covering her eyes. Sure enough, in person her eyes did it. She also had a great smile. As much as I liked her, I could tell she wasn't into me. Despite the fact we had similar interests, I couldn't keep the conversation going. It kept dying and then restarting. But at least I went on a date with someone cute.
Last night was also Elena's birthday. It was my first time out at a bar scene sober. The cocktail waitress caught my eye. I decided I would introduce myself and give her number. I never give out my number, I always get theirs. The chance of contact is extremely slim when when you give them your number. But I'm not going to ask someone who's working for their number. I tore off a piece of receipt and wrote down my name, number, and "the water guy" cause she forgot to get me water for like an hour. Then I patiently waited for the right moment. Abruptly she told our party she wanted people to cash out as she was done for the night. From then on she was like a hawk, dropping checks and scooping them up as soon as they were signed. It was not the time for my charms. I waited possibly for a moment on her exit, but figured I missed her. I decided to say my goodbyes to everyone around 1. As I was on my last few people I noticed Linda (I had gotten her name earlier) darting out in her street clothes. She jumped into a cab with a coworker and so another missed opportunity.
I walked to the 1 train, stopping to grab a M&M cookie only to see Linda sitting out side the stop on her phone. I waved and said "Hi Linda." I think she was a little surprised and possibly weirded out. I could imagine what she thought. "This guy from the bar followed me at 1 am???" So I went into the stop and occupied myself on my phone. When she inevitable came down, I didn't give her any attention. She walked passed me but stopped. I kept my distance and said hi again. Then I made a joke how when I was a banquet server I couldn't stand seeing customers post shift. I just wanted to walk passed them unnoticed. This seemed to break the ice pretty well as we sat next to each other on the train and talked the whole time. As we approached my stop I prompted her: "Wanna know a secret? I've been wanted to give you my number since I was in the bar." I pulled out the paper from my pocket and handed it to her. Once again chances are slim. But at least the opportunity wasn't missed.
In both cases tonight, the date and with Linda I didn't advance physically. According to LS, romantic relationships need to advance in three ways. Emotionally, physically, and logistically. Emotion goes from attraction to comfort to sexual. Logistical means you can't stay in the same place too long. Differing locations helps build connection and progress the relationship. Then there is the physical progression. I've been told that emotional progression without physical progression = friend zone. The girl has to get comfortable with you touching her if she's ever going to be comfortable with you kissing her. It's definitely a barometer for how into you someone is. I now watch to see how other guys do this. Gay men are incredible at it. If you ever watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World, notice Wallace. But it's something I've never gotten comfortable doing. With Dangi (the girl on the date) I touched her hand once. She had an interesting birthmark. And I also tried to high five her. She just faintly held her hand up. But I guess I should be taking more chances and not be afraid to screw it up.
I've updated my resume and I should probably start applying for jobs now. Behold, my updated resume...ok for some reason my resume won't upload. Ahh...had to convert it from .pdf to .jpg. G-d bless Photoshop. I don't think you can read it. In the past, I've had two resumes. One for my desired field (production work, writing assistant, etc.) and one for waiting tables. The former highlighted my acting/theatre as I had few writing credits. The latter featured my professional experience with restaurants, Best Buy, etc. The new challenge was to design a resume that featured as much as possible while still looking clean, organized, and brief. I decided to remove specifics about each occupation. Gone are phone numbers, addresses, specific dates of employment. Instead I have more detailed job descriptions, a writing experience section, and specific production assistant credits. I think this will work best. Now I can finally start applying for jobs. Today's song
Big Rock Candy Mountain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYGCpGzFWh0
I wish I had my dvd of O Brother, Where art thou?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
The above picture is something I started a few days ago. The lack of drinking makes me less likely to tune out with Netflix and video games at night. There was a time where I used to spending evenings drawing pictures like the one above on a nightly bases. Granted I didn't come up with that, it's copied from a picture in the excellent series GCPD, a graphic novel series centered around the Gotham City Police Department. The comic itself hits a theme that I absolutely adore. That theme being, living in a world of something fantastic, how does it affect those on the sidelines (or those in the center) from a realistic and human perspective. What happens when two cops, following the lead on a kidnapping, run into Mr. Freeze? How does a major crimes unit deal with losing one of their own to a super villain way out of their league? The concept of taking the fantastic and dealing with realistic reactions I find utterly fascinating. It's why I love the Nolan Batman movies, it's why I appreciate Cloverfield, it's why I hate any action movie with a superfluous explosion or any collateral damage that the hero doesn't get chewed out for. And it's something all of my personal writing will always strive for to some degree.
Another important note about the picture above is that it was done in pen. Not pencil, pen. That distinction may seem meaningless to you, but I assure you there is something very important to my personal and artistic growth signified by that drawing being done in pen. That distinction? Control and trust. All though my 6+ years of acting the number one note most frequently given was that I'm "a heady actor" or that I was "thinking too much." When you tell a person that lives in their head those notes, it's like telling a fish to enjoy a walk on the beach. The concept is completely alien. As a thinker, the only way I know how to solve problems is by thinking. The problem doesn't get fixed? Think harder. It likely stems from a deeply rooted fear or lack of trust in myself. I can't let go because at any moment I could fuck up and it would all go to hell. That might be all well and good for science or math, but for art? Not so much. Art comes from a very different place. Once again I was told that for years. It wasn't until my final year of acting that I learned how to let go. In my last two shows, I finally got comfortable enough to put my foot on the gas and let it get out of control.
So what the fuck does that have anything to do with pen vs pencil? When I went back to drawing, after this acting epiphany, I applied the same concept. Rather than sketching with pencil, constantly erasing and course correcting until I finally got it as perfect as possible (which it never did.) I decided to say fuck it. Trust my years of drawing, and let my body mind take over. (Body mind is a term borrowed from Timothy Gallwey's The Inner Game of Tennis which is essentially a book about this very concept.) Sure enough, the picture turned out pretty damn well. But judge for yourself.
The original.
This concept has also been applied to my writing. Stephen King, in his book On Writing, advises that instead of doing major plots and outlines, he tends to put in characters in situations and then he lets them figure it out. He even has an exercise to help you do it. With my first two plays, I would sit for days daydreaming and brainstorming before anything was actually written on paper. With my newest play (which is mere lines away from a completed first draft) I took to King's suggestion. I got out of my own way and let the characters sort it out. I have to say the results are pretty marvelous. More on that play in a future post.
I was going to spend most of this blog post talking about Moneyball. It's pretty late so I'll just give you the skinny. Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill in a sports movie. I didn't care until I saw Aaron Sorkin's name in the credit on the trailer. Then I was curious. It got great reviews and it rightly deserves them. The movie is fantastic. Most sports movies are about an underdog player or team struggling to win the championship once and for all. Their particular struggle is what makes the movie unique. What would The Fighter have been without Christian Bale? Moneyball is a sports film that plays by slightly different rules. Yes it still has the underdog team and it still has the montage where they team makes its transition from sucky to good. But this film has more. Much much more. Dialogue, humor, acting, characters, and something else that I haven't given enough thought to yet to clearly define. There is not a scene in this movie that is boring. And Brad Pitt nails the character and because of it, the heart of the movie. Moneyball even transformed a song I hated into something that almost made me cry.
That song.
The Show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgh6HQSM1gM
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