Not too much has changed since my last post (hence why I haven't updated.) Still watching the Wire (just finished season 2) and still reading The Dark Tower. (In the middle of book 3.) I'm pretty happy with my Raising Hope spec. It could be funnier, but I think the plot moves well. If you want to read it, email me. Other than that I start a pilot writing class tomorrow. Same teacher, Jim Mendrinos.
Funny guy, great class. I didn't really want to write TV pilots, but I figure while I've got the guys ear, might as well learn one more thing.
Since I "finished" my Raising Hope spec, I've sorta tapped out on writing. I'll take a pass through on the script once a day, but then I end up wasting my time bumming around the internet. So I've started looking into TV writing contests. I've got the 30 Rock script which I'm proud of. Might as well do something with it. However I'm scared I've made some invisible blunder/typo. These contests average around 40 bucks a pop so I'd hate to have my script tossed out because of something stupid.
Only other thing going on is some dating. I've been mostly getting dates off of OkCupid. I've gotten a lot more dates here in NYC than I ever did in Seattle. Had a date on Friday, have one today, and one tomorrow. Maybe it's because my profile is better. Girls seem to really respond to the last part about "You should message me if." Dating in and of itself sucks. Maybe I go about it old fashioned, but I've spent a lot on food/coffee and not gotten any traction. I usually get to the date and I'm either not attracted to them or there's nothing to latch on to in the conversation. You just sorta go from topic to topic hoping it gets exciting. I do much better approaching and getting numbers on the street or in coffee houses. But in this winter weather that makes girls fewer and farther between. But then again it's all just a numbers game.
Going to a Richard III reading today at a bar. The theatre company is Hudson Warehouse (the company that is supposed to do a reading my play.) I'll probably drink today. The moderation of alcohol is starting to get difficult. I've been letting myself drink more than I should. Nothing crazy. I had a beer on the date Friday and I didn't drink yesterday. But the resolve I had in October has completely withered away and I'm only abstaining out of pure logic. And even that's hard to hold on to.
Song of the day. Starving Your Friends, covered by a cool girl on Youtube. (I swear if I could get this girl, that'd be the game.)
I've been wasting a lot of time lately. Yesterday was the first day I actually got some new writing done by starting my Raising Hope draft. I'm actually sorta proud of my idea for the episode. I've stolen a plot device from my favorite episode of Angel for it.
There's also a girl I've been texting lately. She seems pretty cool, but I haven't seen her in person. I always get nervous about girls I haven't seen (i.e. we've messaged on some dating site) but are responsive. I feel like if I'm going to be attracted to them, I'm going to have to prove myself. If they are responding that quickly and easily either somethings wrong or they're not going to be hot. This girl seems to get my humor and she likes video games. She actually played Metal Gear Solid 4 and he has downloaded some indie puzzle games! That should be a red flag I'm not going to be physically attracted to her.
I recently had a short fling with someone. She was young, a bit of a brat, and not over her ex boyfriend (which in retrospect may never have been her ex.) But she was hot. It ended abruptly as I expected it to. And even though I put up emotional roadblocks so as not to get hurt, I couldn't help but feel dejected and abandoned. I actually had a dream last night where she and I sat down for coffee and had a frank and honest discussion about our brief relationship. I asked her point blank if she ever broke up with her boy friend at all and she said "no." The dream was cathartic.
Been watching The Wire. Saw the first season years ago. Now that I have it on DVD, I'm watching it with the subtitles. When you have a show that has it's plot developments happen in dialogue which involves throwing names around I get lost. The Wire does this and so does L.A. Confidential. For example:
"Cop X has been playing Cop Y who is really corrupt and has been bank rolling Judge A to convict Mob-boss 1. Only thing is Prosecutor A has been a dick about is so Cop Y had Thug 2 threaten Prosecutor A but then Old Lady 2 saw it and now she's gonna snitch. And Cop X planned it all along."
I honestly don't get characters' names on a TV show straight until the second season. Having subtitles helps a lot. Especially since there's so much cop and thug jargon. I'd do it with the West Wing, but the subtitles don't match up 100% and that shit drives me crazy.
My Nintendo 3DS has been getting some play lately. I've always ragged on The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Felt it was boring and overrated, Ganon(dorf) looked silly, (he's much cooler in Twilight Princess and the coolest in Wind Waker) and thought most of the game was boring. And a month before it was released, the first Metal Gear Solid came out and blew my fuckin' mind. So when people cry OcT was the best game ever I tend to roll my eyes.
But I've been playing OcT: Master Quest on my 3DS. It's a harder and rearranged version of the N64 classic. And the re-release has some nice graphical updates. I've actually been enjoying the game somewhat. The difficulty really make it exciting. Crazy huh? It's still not as good as Link to the Past.
And the other time waster has been The Dark Tower. Stephen King's fantasy epic has captivated me. I always held off reading it despite raves from my friends because I'm a relatively weak reader. I do okay with books that are 200-400 pages but after a while I lose interest or get distracted. I don't think I've read anything beyond 600 pages before in my life. I put down Michael Chabon The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay 100 pages from finishing it because I had been on and off so much that I forgot all the peripheral characters. When they showed up at the end for resolutions I had no idea what was going on. So to read a 7 book series, with several of those books being 600 pages plus, it just didn't seem like a good idea. But I bit the bullet and now I'm half way through the 2nd book and am happy with my decision. Also the Kindle does wonders. Another minus about a 600 page book is that you have to carry it around. Going out to a club? You're not bringing that thing with you. But now I can just sync it to my phone and continue reading it on the train. Isn't technology wonderful?
Welcome to 2012, the year that people who have no understanding of other cultures' calendars believe will be our last. 2011 was quite a year indeed. I moved across the country, wrote two plays, a tv spec script, worked at three restaurants, was a production assistant for Boardwalk Empire, was an extra in The Dark Knight Rises, maintained this blog, ran into the following celebrities; Bono, Ira Glass (person a idol,) John Goodman, Scott Adsit, Michael Emmerson, Daniel Day Lewis (twice though the second time was yesterday so that was actually 2012,) Steve Martin, Rober Kulwich (another personal idol,) Christian Bale, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Nolan, Chris Rock, and Ben Stiller (though those last two were in Broadway performances, but I was front row for both shows so that counts,) had 3 women in my bed (not at the same time,) started another blog, managed to find moderation with alcohol, got the worst flu of my life, finished reading 5 books (Alienist, American Gods, Bossypants, Grapes of Wrath, and The Gunslinger,) and found Jesus. He was under a couch cushion.
Okay that last one isn't true.
Yes, it was quite a year indeed. So the question remains...why am I so unhappy? A few reasons come to mind.
I don't have any friends.
Well that's not really true. I have made friends here, but they aren't the most accessible. Being a waiter means most of your nights you are working. This makes hanging out with people who aren't waiters difficult. Especially since the nights you have off aren't weekend. And unless you want to drink after work (12 or 1 am) the chances of hanging out with your waiter friends is even harder. Unlike 9-5ers, your night off isn't the same as your coworker. It's randomly sprinkled throughout the week. Plus a lot of my waiter friends are actors, so the nights they do have off is likely to be spent at rehearsal or with a significant other. This means many of my nights off are spent alone. And since I'm not drinking on nights like that, I usually just turn in early. I'd play video games or watch TV, but doing something so antisocial on my nights off is really depressing.
It's important to remember that in ever stage of my life, I've not made friends until the second year. 2nd grade I met Andrew Entsminger. 8th grade I met Patrick Kemp. 11th grade (my High School was 10-12) was when Matt Chansard and I finally hit it off. Sophmore year of college was when I met Zach Cook. And Tyler Alden and I didn't start hanging out till my 2nd year at the Ginger. So second year is the magic number.
I have nothing to show for my work.
I write. A lot. But so far nothing has come of it. Other than submitting my plays to a few festivals here and there I've really haven't pimped out my stuff. My other blog only get hits when I Facebook message people and even then it's rare if I get more than 20 hits. My spec scripts won't do me any good until I write a few more.
Nothing I have ever done has ever amounted to anything. Drawing, acting, wine study, and pick up all feel like misfires. Things that had initial success but plateaued, dwindled, and ultimately I gave up on. I'm not even sure I believe I can succeed anymore. Sure we all love to hear the success stories of the woman who worked for years and finally made it or the late bloomer who finally got his break, but those are all anecdotal and atypical. That's why we like to hear them. Most people don't succeed. Some don't have what it takes others just never get the break. That's the cold hard truth.
Women
This one's a combination of the first two. Lack of time and lack of luck. Granted I've gone on a good number of dates this year, I rarely find myself one on with a girl I'm really attracted to. High standards mixed with some particular fetishes makes me feel like I'll probably be alone for a while.
It's important to remember that women actually do respond to me when I am comfortable enough to approach. I just hate when numbers fizzle.
New York's getting old.
Yes, I still like the city. But when I don't have anyone to hang out with I'm back at my apartment. And this is not a city for people to spend all their time in their apartments. It's small and cramped and impossible to keep clean. I don't plan on being in this apartment much much longer so I don't want to invest in anything too nice or big to lug up 5 flights of stairs. As I become more committed to TV writing, the more it means I'm going to have to move to LA. Another reason to not get too comfortable. And it gets dark early.
So those things all contribute to my unhappiness. Here's hoping that 2012 will bring amelioration.
