Reflections

 The second night in a row I was called off from work. If you believe in God, you might say he is trying to help me out. If you don't believe in God then randomness happened and I am home. After the bus ride, I ventured into the smoke shop by my apartment. I pointed to a cigar priced $8.99. All the stores in Lake City are owned an operated by people of an indiscriminate brown race. Indiscriminate in that I've never taken the time ask. The brown and bearded clerk handed me the one next to it. I corrected him and indicated the one that I wanted. "The big one?" he asked. "Yes, I have a long book to read," I lied. I had two short books to read and a hell of a lot of writing to perform. 


I have now finished that big cigar and I am pretty dizzy and nauseous. My options were either pot or alcohol. Neither of which help with reading. I hope someday soon my reading and writing will not need drugs or stimulants. But for now that is the only way I know of to push through. 


Stephen King is a great writer. I know. I've read two of his books now. The Shinning and On Writing. I don't know why I find reading so difficult. Looking at my computer monitor makes me more nauseous. I find it easier to stare at my key board to write and only glance up for a few seconds to make sure I've made no writing errors. 


I return to my computer from dry heaves. I remember a field trip in 5th grade. Matt and Brad are making fun of me again and have been mercilessly. Some time ago they were supposedly my friends. I retaliate back that one day I'll have some wonderful job and they'll be working in fast food flipping burgers. The sad irony is that quite the opposite is true. I am about to complete my 5th year in the food service industry. Matt has the best life I think I could ever wish for. I don't know what Brad is doing, but knowing his ability to socialize and influence people, I would guess he's doing pretty well himself. 


I lie on the floor trying again to regain my composure. I grab a random Maxim magazine from a subscription from God knows when (I never read them.) I open it up to a random page and see a short article about Scott Pilgrim vs The World. I question realize as I look at the date of the Maxim. Feb 2009. Wierd huh.